Humour can alter any situation and help us cope at the very instant we are laughing.

― Allen Klein

Now we are going to talk about what makes us laugh. It may seem strange to have a lesson about humour at all, even more during the final part of this challenge where you are envisioning and creating a path to a best possible life. But that is part of the point about humour and why we need it so much.

Humour is about recognizing the incongruities of life, the things that don’t seem to fit in the world around us, in our friends and family members, and especially in ourselves. When you think about the life you want for yourself in the future as you do for the “best possible life” activity in Chapter 19, you might be struck by how far away it may seem from the life you are living right now. Humour can help us make laugh and make light of how much of a difference this can be and use it as a motivation for change rather than something to be discouraged about.

During the first part of this challenge, we talked about the power of positive reappraisal, which is our ability to think about things in a new way that brings out more of the best in ourselves and the world around us. Humour can work for us in a similar way and at times can be even more powerful.

There have been surveys asking people what qualities they think may be most important in a marriage partner where the answer has been humour, rather than intelligence or good looks. Even when you lose whatever good looks you had and get old enough to not be able to remember the last time you had an intelligent thought, you can still laugh and we often love those who make us laugh.

As with positive reappraisal, humour can shift our perspective in a way that can make us laugh, smile, and even feel joy in some of the worst of circumstances.

So, what is humour? It has been defined in at least three different ways.

First, and this may be what some of us are thinking about when we say we don’t have good sense of humour, it has been defined as the ability to make other people smile or laugh. The thing is that for some of us, we do this without even trying – or by accident when we are actually trying to be serious!

Second, humour has been defined as something close to the way I talked about it at the beginning of this lesson – as the playful recognition, enjoyment, or creation of incongruities. This brings us back to what we may see in ourselves when, despite our highest aspirations, we make some of the same silly mistakes again and again!

Third, and this is where it can become a super power, humour has been defined as a cheerful view on adversity that allows us to see the lighter side of things and enables us to sustain a good mood – even when stress happens! This may be why in the VIA classification humour is listed under the category of transcendence. It may enable us to transcend or rise above our stressful circumstances.

The other thing that is wonderful about humour is that there are so many different forms. Like with our strengths and the things we love to do, it may be vital for us to discover what kinds of humour are our personal favourites. There may be some forms of humour that don’t appeal to us at all, while there may be others that once we are exposed to them, we can’t get enough of them.

Here is a sample of different kinds. Think about which are your favourites.

The first one is a joke – seriously – which is short story that ends with a funny, climactic twist… What did the Buddhist say to the vendor at the hot dog stand? Make me one with everything.

Another verbal form of humour that can be a form of a joke is a riddle – which is question that calls for a clever or unexpected answer… “What goes up but never goes down? Your age.” There are probably some of us that don’t find that one very funny.

And then there is overstatement like when you say “I sure did great” on a test that you barely passed, or understatement like saying that “Windhoek can get a little warm in the summer.”

One form of humour made famous on the Candid Camera television show is the practical joke where you create a strange or unlikely situation for someone and then see how they react. There is a famous Candid Camera scene called The Power of Conformity where everyone on an elevator, except the unknowing target person, does strange things together with the unknowing target following right along. You will see this as your special video for this chapter because not only is it funny, it also shows the dangers of blind conformity.

Of course, there is also the kind of physical humour that the Three Stooges became famous for as they slapped and poked at each other with the same familiar sounds as if they were in playing the drums or in a dance. Then there is the witty banter that Abbot and Costello made famous in their Who’s on First routine, where confusion reigns regarding the name of the players on a baseball team.

The final kind of humour I want to mention is satire or parody which is used to make fun of the shortcomings of those who may take themselves too seriously. While this can be a form of hostile humour that can hurt it targets, it has also been effectively used to challenge abusive people in power who may be difficult to challenge otherwise. It also may be a unique and powerful tool to use with ourselves to keep us humble in accepting our personal flaws and imperfections.

The bottom line is that the power of humour is no joke, and that although it can sometimes be used to harm, it may be one of the most powerful weapons we have to keep us smiling and sane on the most stressful and challenging parts of our path.

Since the dawn of positive psychology, there has been increasing research on the effects of humour showing that not only can it make us laugh, but that is also good for our health and well-being. 

• One, it can help us recover more quickly from surgery and illness. 
• Two, it can enable us to better deal with our mortality. 
• Three, it can reduce some of the harmful aspects of the stress response. 
• Four, it has been shown to improve immune function.

Finally, there are things that even the most humourless among us can do to increase the presence of humour and its benefits in our lives. The psychologist Paul McGhee has developed what he calls the Seven Humour Habits programme, which has been shown to increase optimism, self-efficacy, and positive emotions while also decreasing anxiety, depression, and stress. 

You can ‘google’ him and the name of the programme for the details about how to practice them, but here are the seven habits:

1. Surround yourself with humour.
2. Cultivate a playful attitude.
3. Laugh more often and more heartily.
4. Create your own verbal humour.
5. Look for humour in everyday life.
6. Take yourself lightly and laugh at yourself. 
7. Find humour in the midst of stress.

So, when you are charting your course to your best possible life – humour might help you laugh at all the ways you may fall short. You might also find yourself laughing when you are surprised at how well you are doing and at all of the strange and unexpected things that are bound to happen along the way.

Believe it or not, science has finally confirmed what many of us have suspected all along. Humour can bring a smile to almost any situation and help us both have fun and make the most of our lives. Seriously!

Workbook Tasks for the Chapter

The following tasks are designed to help you continue to develop a plan for a better future and understand how you can use humour to enable you to achieve it.

First, the special video is that old Candid Camera TV show scene filmed on an elevator about the power of conformity. Watch the video and reflect on where you have fallen into conformity and what you can do to avoid it.

Second, the task is to write about how you can use your top strengths and what you have learned and done in this challenge to achieve your best possible life. This will enable you identify and describe specific ways you can use what you have learned and help you complete the 5th and 6th steps of the PATH process.

Third, the next task is to actually complete the 5rd and 6th steps of the PATH process as described in the Appendix Guidelines for the PATH process. The 5th step is called Building Strength and involves recognizing ways to build your strengths and acquire new skills and talents. The 6th step is called Identify Bold Steps and involves developing steps for achieving your long-term goals.

Fourth, there are reflection questions about the kind of humour that you enjoy the most and how you might use humour to help you achieve your goals and realize your best possible life. Think about how you might use humour to deal with the stressful times and lows and to celebrate you achievements and the highs.