The only thing to fear is fear itself.

― Franklin Delano Roosevelt

You are now halfway through the second part this challenge. The first part was basic training. The second part is focused on discovering and using your strengths and what is best in you to make the most of your life. During the first part, you learned about how to foster a classic human virtue and strength that can show us the way and enable us to make tough decisions: wisdom. In this chapter, you will learn about an equally classic human virtue and strength that can give us the emotional “oomph” we need to move forward despite obstacles and fear – courage!

We may not often see the relationship between wisdom and courage and how much courage may depend on wisdom. But it is wisdom that can prevent courage from falling into doing something that is rash, stupid, or just plain dumb. What is courage? Its root is in the Latin and Greek words for “heart.”

Earl Shelp has defined courage as having three components:

• There is a significant risk of harm or loss.
• There is a judgment – and this is where wisdom comes in – that the potential benefits of an action may outweigh the risks.
• There is both the willingness and the ability to carry out the action.

There is one very important thing that is missing from this definition – and this one thing may broaden the occasions and possibilities of courage for us all. Did you catch it? This definition does not say that courage means that we are not afraid. In fact, when there is significant risk of harm or loss, there may be something wrong with us if we don’t at least feel a little fear.

Now here is where courage comes home to matter tremendously for each of us. When I say the word bravery or courage, what do you think of? If you are like most people, you may think of a soldier putting him or herself at risk in battle or a firefighter going in to save someone in a burning building. These are examples of physical courage – which we may indeed be challenged to show at some points in our lives.

But one of the breakthroughs in the positive psychological study of courage has been to extend it to include the kinds of courage we are much more likely to need in our everyday lives. There are at least two other kinds of courage that, in addition to physical courage, may be critical for making the most of our lives, on the one hand, and for building a community that makes this possible for all of us, on the other.

The first kind has been called “personal courage” and the second has been called “moral courage.” 

Personal courage is the kind of courage we are asking you to display the most in this challenge. It is what will enable you to answer the call to adventure in entering a new and unknown place in your life. Sometimes we will do almost anything to avoid the unknown, including staying in an abusive relationship or toxic work environment, continuing with an addiction, or not asking for help when we really need it.

Personal courage is the willingness and ability to take a calculated risk – even when we are anxious or afraid – in doing something that may help us really move forward in our lives. It is what you have already been doing in this challenge if you have gotten this far. You have dared to try something new that may change you and how you see the world. You have dared to pay attention to something other than just the holes in your sailboat. You have begun to see and lift the sails. It takes personal courage to do that and see where it takes you. So, whether or not you can relate to the physical courage of a soldier or those firefighters during September 11, we can all relate to the personal courage it takes to leave our comfort zone and take the risks necessary for creating a life that is worth living.

But in addition to physical and personal courage, there is another kind of courage that is so easy to miss, especially in the world of psychology that focuses so much on the individual and not the well-being of our larger community and world. It turns out that human beings are inherently social animals and a necessary part of our happiness is intimately tied to that of those around us.

This calls for moral courage, which is taking calculated risks for other people and the larger community. It is the willingness and ability to speak up and do the right thing in the face of negative consequences, such as the loss of income, relationships, jobs, social status, and the approval of others. Examples of moral courage include Rosa Parks risking being arrested and going to jail for not sitting in the back of the bus and Mahatma Gandhi refusing to eat until the Hindus and Muslins in India stopped fighting.

While moral courage may result in some unwanted consequences us as individuals, it also means gaining something that no one can take away from us – the satisfaction of knowing that we did the right thing. I once asked my students to rate their willingness to try each of the 340 Ways to Use Strengths that you were asked to review in Chapter 7. Several of the top rated were examples of moral courage like standing up for those who can’t stand up for themselves and resisting peer pressure in speaking out against an injustice.

Thus, while we may sometimes hear the call to display physical courage – we may more frequently hear it for personal and moral courage.

There is one other thing that is important to say about courage. Robert Biswas-Diener has written about what he calls “the courage quotient.” He defines courage in mathematical terms by saying that whether we will act in a courageous way depends on our willingness to act divided by the fear we are feeling about acting. He thinks that the two things we can do to increase courage are:

(1) to decrease our fear and

(2) to increase our willingness and motivation for acting.

We have already begun planting the seeds for doing both in the challenge.

First, we can decrease our fear by gradually exposing ourselves to what we are afraid of with the support of others. We can do something like mindful breathing to relax and calm ourselves so we can see and think more clearly.

Second, we can increase our willingness and motivation to act by focusing on the satisfaction, gratification, and likely reward of our courageous action and by creatively using positive reappraisal to help us a better path to it.

A simple example from my life was when I first fell in love as I was a teenager. I was terrified to talk to boys. But I was so enamoured with this particular boy that despite my abject fear, I was actually able to talk to him and consented to go on a date. I finally had a motivation that was stronger than my fear. But the reward may not just be in getting the girl or the boy, but even more in the confidence that you can do the courageous thing when it is called for.

So, the lesson for this chapter has been about courage, which is essential for this challenge and for a life worth living. As you begin to realize how much more you are capable of using your strengths, you will see abundant opportunities for practicing courage. Once you decide to do something that requires courage, you can use what you have learned to reduce your fear and increase your motivation by focusing on the potential benefits of acting courageously.

Workbook Tasks for the Chapter

The tasks for this chapter will help you understand and see the value of courage in your life and how you can use your top strengths to have a positive impact on other people in your life.

First, there is a link for a special video that shows an extraordinary example of personal and moral courage in the life of a 6-year-old girl. This has been another video that I could often see strong reactions in people when they have watched it. It is a wonderful example of how children can sometimes show the wisdom and the courage that adults may sometimes lack.

Second, the next task involves writing about a time when you showed courage and what may have enabled you to be courageous. Just be sure to look for times you may have shown personal or moral courage as well as times you may have expressed physical courage. Also, just as a good way to boost resilience or the use of your top strengths is to remember a when were you successful in the past, so too thinking and writing about when you were courageous in the past can be a great way of increasing your confidence and the likelihood of being that way in the future.

Third, there are reflection questions about where and when you would most like to display courage in the future and what might help you to act courageously when the time comes. Just imagining and rehearsing a situation in the future where you may need courage can reduce the fear and anxiety you will feel at the time.

Finally, once again there is a task that involves using one of your top strengths in a new way, but this time you are asked to do it with the goal of having a positive impact on someone else. While it may be beneficial to use your top strengths in a new way even without a specific goal in mind, it may be may be that much better for other people and for you to use it to express love and kindness. You will learn much more about the benefits of these two strengths when we focus on them in the third part of the challenge.